Many women struggle with texting with men, fearing they’ll seem pushy, their messages will go unanswered, and conversations will quickly fall apart. Actually, men prefer direct, relaxed, and evocative communication in text messages. As emphasized in How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You in Minutes, “Men are more sensitive to ‘clear signals + emotional value,’ and sincere and interesting interactions are more effective than roundabout hints.” This article will share 10 highly practical texting flirting techniques based on the book’s insights into male psychology, each accompanied by real-life examples to help you easily bridge the gap with men through texting.
I. Four Core Principles for Texting Flirts with Men (from How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You in Minutes)
Before delving into specific techniques, master the “male communication preferences” extracted from the book. This is the foundation for avoiding awkward conversations and precise flirting:
- “Direct Sincerity > Roundabout Tactics”: Men are generally not good at interpreting “subtext.” The book states that “directly expressing affection without pressure is easier to build trust than guessing games.” For example, saying “You looked so cool playing basketball today” is more likely to make him understand your feelings than simply saying “The weather’s nice today.”
- “Shared Interests > Ineffective Small Talk”: Men are more willing to share topics they care about. Introduce conversations based on his hobbies (such as games, sports, or gadgets), as the book suggests, “building communication bridges with shared interests,” making interactions smoother.
- “Relaxed Atmosphere > Serious Lectures”: Avoid starting with “future plans” or “relationship views.” The book emphasizes that “men are more likely to develop feelings when they’re relaxed.” Add some banter and jokes to make the conversation feel as natural as “chatting with a buddy.”
- “Detailed Feedback > General Praise”: Specific praise for something he did is more effective than simply saying “You’re amazing.” This aligns with the book’s point that “affirmative words should focus on specific actions.”
II. 10 Practical Tips for Flirting with Guys via Text Messages (with Case Studies and Book Viewpoints)
- Start a conversation with “interest extensions” to precisely target his interests. Begin with the interests he mentions on social media or in chat, and extend to specific questions. This is precisely the practical method of “building connections through interests” from The Guide to Men’s Love Language, which can quickly get him talking.
Example: “I saw your screenshot of a pentakill in King of Glory, it’s so awesome! I recently started learning to play support, and I can never keep up with my teammates’ pace. When you play marksman, how do you most want the support to coordinate? Looking for expert advice!”
✨ Book Extension: Men are powerless against topics that “showcase their expertise.” Actively asking about his interests satisfies his desire to share and naturally brings you closer.
- Use “affirmative teasing” to create a relaxed atmosphere, avoiding awkwardness and greasiness. Appropriate teasing can break the serious atmosphere, but as The Guide to Men’s Love Language says, “add affirmation after teasing to make him feel your goodwill,” avoiding making him feel offended.
Example: “You said you were a ‘super good cook’ last time, but the fried egg you posted on social media was burnt on the edges—but since you dared to try, I still have to praise your courage! Next time, how about showing off your skills so I can judge whether you were just ‘bragging’?”
✨ Key: The “punishment” should be light and fun (like telling a joke or sharing a story). Don’t actually get angry; a coquettish tone can soften the “aggressiveness” of teasing.
- Use “shared memories” to awaken familiarity and escalate the romance. Mention your shared experiences and extract small details he might remember. This aligns with the view in The Guide to Men’s Love Language that “shared memories strengthen emotional connections.”
Example: “I passed by the milk tea shop near the school today and remembered the last time you bought me milk tea. You even remembered I wanted ‘30% sugar, less ice, and pearls’! I often forget myself! Is your memory specifically designed to remember girls’ preferences?”
✨ Tip: The more specific the details, the better. Make him feel, “You remember so clearly,” thus appreciating your thoughtfulness.
- Use emojis and short sentences to break the ice and maintain the flow. Most guys dislike long conversations. Use concise sentences and cute emojis, as suggested in How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You in Minutes, to “reduce communication pressure in a relaxed way.”
Example: “Your last sentence was so charming! [facepalm] I almost thought my phone was going to overheat! But seriously, after your compliment, I’m motivated for work today!”
✨ Choice: Prioritize cute and funny emojis, avoiding overly sexy or complex ones, to fit the relaxed chat atmosphere.
- End with a “personalized bedtime greeting” to leave a gentle impression. A bedtime text is a golden opportunity to strengthen feelings. Combine it with his habits to convey personalized care, just as the book says, “Gentle interactions before bedtime can deepen his memory of you.”
Example: “I know you must be tired from working overtime today. Remember to soak your feet before bed to relax~ I’ve already ‘requested’ a piece of instrumental music you like. Listen to it and get some rest [moon]. Goodnight, and I’ll hear about your overtime adventures tomorrow~”
✨ Tip: Include “his preferences” (such as favorite music or habits), don’t just say “goodnight,” make the greeting more targeted.
III. 5 Awkward Conversation Killers to Avoid When Flirting with Guys via Text Message
- Avoid “Interrogation-Style Questions”: “How old are you? How much do you earn? Where do you live?” A series of rational questions will make him feel like he’s in an interview, violating the principle of “prioritizing a relaxed atmosphere” in The Guide to Men’s Love Language. Talk more about interests and feelings.
- Don’t send “long essays”: Guys have limited patience for long texts. Unless he’s also used to sending long messages, try to use “short sentences + emojis” to avoid putting pressure on him to reply.
- Avoid “excessive probing and suspicion”: Questions like “Why didn’t you reply to me immediately?” or “Are you chatting with other girls?” will make him feel restricted. The book emphasizes that “trust is the foundation of attraction,” and giving each other space is more important.
- Avoid “topics overflowing with negative emotions”: Starting with complaining about work or life will make him feel tired of chatting with you. The core of flirting is conveying “positive emotions,” so keep negative content brief.
- Don’t “force flirting”: Inappropriate cheesy pickup lines (like “I want to buy a piece of land from you”) will make him feel awkward. It’s better to use “teasing based on his interests” rather than “teasing.”
IV. Texting Flirting Strategies at Different Stages (Based on The Guide to Men’s Love Language)
- Initial Acquaintance Stage (1-2 weeks): “Icebreakers based on interests > Flirting,” Building Trust
Focus on understanding his preferences through “expanding on interests” and “asking questions out of curiosity.” Occasionally use light teasing to close the distance. As the book says, “First become ‘friends you can chat with,’ then upgrade the relationship.” 2. The Ambiguous Stage (2-4 weeks, 1-2 meetings): “Detailed Interactions > General Chatting,” Building Up the Atmosphere
At this stage, you can add “visual sharing” and “shared memories,” such as “That white shirt you wore last time really suited you,” or “I remember you said you liked XX, and I found a store with the same style,” to gauge his attitude.
- The Warming-Up Stage (He Takes the Initiative, Responds Positively): “Direct Invitations > Hints,” Advancing the Relationship
When he likes you, use “specific invitations based on shared interests” (such as “Let’s go to a ball game together,” or “Let’s play his favorite game”), as the book suggests, “When he releases signals of interest, promptly advance high-quality interaction.”
Conclusion: The ultimate secret to flirting with a guy via text is “understanding him + being yourself”
The core of all techniques is “understanding male communication preferences,” repeatedly emphasized in How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You in Minutes—men dislike riddles, complexity, and pressure. Texting is just a tool; what truly moves him is the “sincerity” and “understanding him” you convey through your words. If you want a more systematic understanding of male psychology and the language of love, the book also contains many practical methods on “how to express your feelings in a way he accepts,” helping you to more accurately connect with him beyond text messages. Remember: a good relationship is about “ease and resonance”—interacting in ways he likes allows feelings to grow naturally.
